Complications occur when you open Microsoft Word and it appears 500% zoomed out. Complicated is when you have a “dirty” napkin and you spend the next 45 seconds trying to figure out how to hold the device and wipe your mouth without transferring the 2 day old Curry to your face. Complications occur when your friend and you peer over the fence at the beautiful ocean and while she sees a beautiful tinge of sea blue not included in Crayola’s finest offerings and a majestic orange sunset, you see a battle of testosterone to catch the wave, a treacherous drop, a swift dig on your back heel to peel your surfboard towards the right, a brief prayer to get around a washed out section, a bout of composure to utilize the rest of the wave, 4 nice sweeping cut backs, and tricky maneuver to escape the reef. Complicated is the last sentence. Complications occur when your leisure drive to work is halted by a 3 car accident, with you involved; as the cause; and you have no insurance; and you directly hit your coworker; and she has no insurance either; and you’re late for an important meeting; and you abhor the members of the meeting, and the meeting topic sucks but, you need the money and Obama’s still working on the stimulus package. You rereading the last sentence and mentally correcting my use of commas and semicolons is complicated, but funny. Complicated is someone who interprets your finest humor as deeply offensive. Amusing is when you don’t give a shit. Complications occur when you use an L&L straw to sip a Jack In The Box Oreo cookie shake. Complicated is when you sit here for 10 minutes thinking about complications. Complications occur when you arrive at so many destinations perplexed when all you needed were the journeys. Complicated is when you spend the next 30 seconds pondering about the grammar in the previous sentence and you had enough drinks that disable you from tying your shoelaces. Complications occur up to the point when you realize your slip on shoes have no shoelaces. Complicated is when y8iouas. Typing is complex. I used another word besides complicated and complications – did you notice? Complications occur when all you wanted was a diet coke and you got a Venti Mocha Machiato expresso latte chai with distilled soy milk, no need to make room for cream or sugar. Complicated is when the Starbucks gift card doesn’t work at select locations and Starbucks Express locations. Complications occur when 9 out of 8 places you frequent are select Starbucks locations or Starbucks Express locations. Complicated is when people who are selected to hold office don’t pay taxes. Complications occur when something as simple as peanut butter can kill. Complicated is when you take a perfectly configured Rubics Cube, turn it 5 times, spend the next 3 years trying to complete 2 of the faces, and end up prying the blocks apart and snapping them back together. Stay tuned for more complications...
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